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Bush on top of the world? Impress Your Friends: Sound Worldly. Quickly.By Rick Horowitz
You're at a dinner party, and the conversation turns to the latest news from around the globe. You sip your wine and hope no one asks for your opinion. You're attending a business conference, and the speaker tells a joke about some hot international issue. Everyone around you laughs uproariously -- but you don't understand the punch line! You're running for president of the United States, and your opponent keeps talking about his vast experience in dealing with global issues. All you've got are photographs of your latest trip to Mexico. Tired of feeling out of your depth in international waters? Tired of feeling timid and tentative whenever the talk leaves the good old USA behind? Your worries are over! Now there's a way to feel right at home whatever the topic. Introducing the Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff, designed for people just like you. At the Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff, our intensive seminars and workshops will have you sounding like a diplomat practically overnight! Our highly trained foreign-policy gurus -- think-tank giants and seasoned veterans who've walked the historic corridors of the Pentagon, the State Department and the White House itself -- have sifted through their decades of know-how to come up with the things you need to know about the world. "I've been to lots of seminars, but this one is definitely the best! I got all the essentials and never felt overwhelmed." G.W.B., Austin, TX Other international-affairs programs load you down with book after book, and take months (or even years!) to complete -- who has the time for that? At the Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff, it takes only a week to make you strong! We know how busy you are; our easy-to-digest memos and briefings are streamlined to match the way you live. And the way you learn. You'll get the basic concepts you need to hold your own in any conversation -- the same "talking points" and pithy quotes the experts use. You'll also get help with those intangible "extras" that say to the world, "I'm a player!" Just think what you'll be able to do with the valuable "Foreign Aid" you'll find in your own personally monogrammed, faux-leather "Diplomatic Pouch": * A color-coded chart of all the countries, organized by continent for easy reference; * An alphabetized list of key foreign leaders (with E-Z-Say phonetic pronunciations), plus blank spaces for instant updates in case of sudden upheaval; and * A pocket-sized glossary of essential and obscure foreign-policy terms. "You should have seen them react when I started talking about 'nation-building.' Finally, some respect!" G.W.B., Austin, TX Those sweaty palms and quivery lips are a thing of the past. In just one week at the Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff, you'll make up for years of ignoring the rest of the planet. You'll learn winning techniques for handling the toughest international questions: when to drop names, how to blur differences, how to be critical without sounding "negative" -- and more. From Rwanda to East Timor, from military readiness to third-world debt, you'll be able to talk for up to two minutes on virtually anything! Won't it be great to impress your friends? To wow your rivals? To set the pundits and the late-night jokesters back on their heels? The Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff will give you all the tools you need. Whether your goal is Chamber of Commerce or Commander in Chief, there's no substitute for knowing your way around the world -- or at least sounding like you do. "If it worked for me, it can work for anyone!" G.W.B., Austin, TX So what are you waiting for? Reserve your place today at the Texas Academy of Foreign Stuff. "We shrink the world to fit your mind." Posted 10/12/00.
Wrap your mind around Rick's stuff twice every week!
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Rick Horowitz