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Spoiler? Meanwhile, Back on the Fringe...By Rick Horowitz Overheard (and overdrawn) at the phone bank: "Yes, hello -- we're calling from Neighbors for Nader headquarters? I'd like to ask you a couple of questions? It'll only take a -- " ... "That's right, Neighbors for Nader -- we're doing kind of a survey. Only take a minute or two. Did you happen to see the debate the other night?" ... "And what did you think?" ... "Did you really? And the -- " ... "Really? Three for three?" ... "No, I thought he was decent. For Kerry. Of course, Ralph was -- " ... "Yeah, that was pretty strange -- I guess they told him to smile no matter what." ... "Had to be better than all that scowling he -- " ... "Yeah, it did. But anyway, didn't you think Ralph was just great?" ... "Well, no -- not actually in the room. But he was watching it with a bunch of supporters, and he put out that really strong statement right afterward? Did you happen to see that?" ... "See, that's just what they want you to think." ... "No, that was last month -- and it was totally true: Kerry was too far behind for your vote to help. Now we're saying he doesn't even need your -- " ... "OK, but do you really want just two parties dominating everything? They're exactly the same on all the -- " ... "I am being serious! Tell me one issue where Kerry and Bush took different positions." ... "OK, so that's one issue. But on everything else, they -- " ...... "OK, so two issues..." ............................ "OK, look, look -- I don't want to get into a whole big fight with you. But if you think the country's on the wrong track, then Ralph is the only one who can make a real difference." ... "No, not that kind of -- " ... "Hey, Gore lost Florida all by himself! It's not our fault he -- " ...... "Anyway, that was last time -- we're concentrating on this time. And if everyone who agrees with Ralph on the issues votes for him, he can win this thing!" ... "Medication? No, I'm not on any medication. Why?" ... "No...not at all..." ... "Not at all. See, that's where you're wrong. Not at all." ...... "No. See, why waste your vote on anyone else when you can waste your -- when you can cast your vote for Nader?" ... "No, I never said -- it must have been a bad connection. Look..." ... "Look. OK -- so let's just say for argument's sake you're leaning Kerry, but you like Ralph, too. So say you vote for Ralph -- what's the worst that can happen?" ............ "Fine. Fine. Well, look, thanks anyway for your -- " ............................................ "Thanks for y -- " ..................................................................................... "No, I really nee -- " .......................................................................................... Posted 10/14/04.
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Rick Horowitz
