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They paid for that?! Senator Reid Says, "Happy Holidays!"By Rick Horowitz
(Once upon
a time in Nevada...) "Honey, is the mail here yet?" "On the kitchen table, dear! Just the normal junk, and some more cards, I think. Go ahead and open them! I haven't had a chance to -- " "I'm glad we got ours mailed early this -- honey, do we know anybody named the Doormans?"
"The who? I can't hear you -- let me come in there." "Don't worry about it. I'll just -- " "Now, what was the name?" "The Doormans? We've got a card here from someone named Doorman. In Washington." "State or D.C.?" "D.C." "You're sure it's addressed to us? This new mailman doesn't know his -- " "'Ray and Faye Whipplewood, 123 Sandstorm Lane' -- yeah, it's us all right. I wonder who could have sent it. Do we even know anybody in Washington?" "I'll bet it's one of those fundraising letters from some group back there, and they just make it look like a Christmas card. I swear, you get on somebody's contributors' list one time, you keep getting those things forev -- what's wrong?" "Wait a minute..." "It's a fundraising letter, right?" "Hang on, I'm still -- I don't believe this!" "What?" "It's not a fundraising letter. I mean, it's about a contribution, but it's not asking for..." "Here -- let me take a look." "Don't drop the -- this is so strange! Don't drop the note, OK?" "'Dear Whipplewood Family...Blah, blah, blah, happy holidays, blah, blah, blah' -- well, wait a minute. It's not signed by 'The Doormans' -- it's signed by 'The Doorman.'" "What kind of a name is -- " "'The Doorman at the Ritz-Carlton.'" "Huh?" "In Washington. Must be a hotel or something. He says here -- let's see -- he says he's writing on behalf of the service staff at the Ritz-Carlton to thank all of Senator Reid's friends for the lovely Christmas bonus." "But we didn't send him a -- I don't even know the guy!" "No, but -- hang on -- but he says we sent a campaign contribution to Harry Reid, who has a condo in the Ritz-Carlton. I guess they got our name somewhere. Did you know he has a condo in the Ritz-Carlton? Sounds expensive!" "So we sent Harry Reid a campaign contribution. So...?" "And he says Harry Reid used money from his campaign fund to give Christmas bonuses to some of the Ritz-Carlton staff!" "Can he do that?" "Well, he did it -- he wouldn't do it if he wasn't allowed to, would he? He says -- the doorman, I mean -- he says it's the third year he's done it, that Harry Reid has done it." "Used his campaign funds for Christmas bonuses." "That's what he says." "At his condo." "That's what he says. Oh, and he says we were 'especially generous' this year. Wasn't that nice of us?" "You never want to shortchange your doorman." "I didn't know that." "You do now." Posted 10/18/06.
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Rick Horowitz
