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Sore loser The Boss is Not AmusedBy Rick Horowitz
TO: THE WORLD
I am issuing this statement in response to numerous inquiries from the press. I will not take any questions, and I will make no further statements until my next statement, which will be issued sometime tomorrow unless I decide I can't wait that long. On behalf of the entire New York Yankees organization, the most successful sports franchise ever to walk the face of the earth, I want to extend my sincere apologies to all our fans everywhere for the way our players, our coaches and our manager let you down last week. No one was more disappointed in their unimpressive performance than I was. As MacArthur said, "Victory is essential." We did not achieve that essential victory, and if there's one thing I'm absolutely certain about, it's this: It wasn't my fault. The hard-working fans of New York deserve a winner, and I know they'll settle for nothing less. The 2003 Yankees won 101 games during the regular season. They then won three games to eliminate Minnesota in the Division Series, and four more to defeat the Red Sox in the League Championship Series, and then two more against the Florida Marlins in the World Series. That's a total of 110 wins -- I will no longer permit such failure. Our guys are being paid top dollar to produce. Not just in April, but in May and June and July and August and September and October, and if there are enough rainouts, in November, too. To come up short the way they did was an embarrassment to New York. Quitters never win and winners never quit. So where do we go from here? How do we return our Yankees to their rightful place atop the pantheon of heroes? As Churchill said, "We will fight on the beaches. We will fight in the trenches. We will fight on the benches. We will never surrender." Many of you know of my recent promise to make whatever changes are needed to make the Yankees a stronger, better team next season. I renew that promise today. And when I refer to "whatever changes are needed," I'm talking about everything from signing the finest available free agents to a total housecleaning. So, to the wiseguy who suggested that the best way for me to make the Yankees stronger and better next year was to throw myself under the team bus at the earliest possible opportunity: We will find you, and we will make you pay. You are an embarrassment to New York. Winning isn't the only thing -- it's second to breathing. (Glowering is third.) We are also dealing with several off-the-field issues. During the decisive Game 6 of the World Series, there were a number of season-ticket holders in the box seats behind home plate who appeared to be enjoying themselves even though the Yankees were losing. These fans have been fired -- let that be a lesson to all those whose loyalty remains in doubt. There was also a peanut vendor in the right-field stands overheard telling a customer that a Yankee defeat would "not be the end of the world." This vendor was an embarrassment to New York, and he, too, has been fired. As Napoleon said, "An army travels on its stomach, and a ballclub on its clutch hitting." Finally, to further improve morale at Yankee Stadium in 2004 and to provide even more inspiration for our pinstriped warriors, we have revised the lyrics to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Instead of "Root, root, root for the home team / If they don't win it's a shame," our fans will be instructed to sing "If they don't win it's a crime," or possibly "If they don't win it's a tragedy of earth-shattering proportions." My baseball people tell me that either of these changes will affect the historic rhyme scheme of the song, but I intend to press ahead nonetheless. The current lyrics are an embarrassment to New York, and if the job of setting things right falls once again on my shoulders, I willingly accept the challenge. Nobody knows more about embarrassing New York than George Steinbrenner. Posted 10/29/03.
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Rick Horowitz
