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They say, "Jump!" He says... Staying on Their Good SideBy Rick Horowitz
Heartwarming, really, the way they've patched things up. Just when you thought they might be heading for the rocks -- Splitsville -- they put their relationship back together, and now they're tight as ticks again. And all it took was total surrender. We're talking about George Bush. You might have thought we were talking about high-school romance, about some super-high-maintenance special-friend-or-boyfriend-or-girlfriend deal that once had you in its clutches, and constantly on your guard. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about George Bush and his political one and only: The Base. The Base is always there for George Bush; it's the life of the (Grand Old) party. The Base walks the precincts. The Base staffs the phone banks. The Base plants the lawn signs. The Base sends the money. An energized Base is why George Bush got re-elected. A de-energized Base -- let alone a frustrated Base, or a disillusioned Base, or an angry Base -- would leave him in big, big trouble. Which is why there are entire White House offices devoted to the care and feeding of The Base -- keeping it energized, keeping it happy. It was all going so well, too. Then Harriet Miers happened, and it all started to come apart. Then Harriet Miers disappeared, and everyone was the best of friends all over again. Heartwarming. Really. And the most heartwarming part of all? No question about it: The most heartwarming part of all was that wonderful little interlude -- a few days at most -- between the time The Base beat Harriet Miers to a bloody pulp and the time The Base announced that it was ready to forgive George Bush for picking her. What happened in between? Why, the only thing that could have happened to put The Base in such a generous mood: George Bush did exactly what The Base told him to do. He pitched Harriet Miers over the side and replaced her with Samuel Alito. The Base didn't know Harriet Miers -- not nearly well enough, anyway. It didn't trust her to line up precisely -- and predictably, and permanently -- where it wanted a Supreme Court justice to line up. Sam Alito was a different matter. The Base had known Sam Alito for years. He was The Base's kind of judge. He was on The Base's short list. So George Bush picked him to replace what was left of Harriet Miers, and there was ecstasy in Baseland. But the best part was listening to The Base explain itself. Yes, The Base admitted -- perhaps it had been a little rough on Harriet Miers, and on the president who had chosen her. Yes, The Base admitted -- maybe it had suggested it was this close to taking its ball (and its lawn signs, and its checkbooks) and going home. But you had to understand, The Base explained: It really cared about this one. And if the president wasn't willing to deliver on something The Base really cared about -- well, anybody would have reacted the same way! The best part, though? The Base was willing to let bygones be bygones. Not just willing, in fact, but "eager" -- "eager" to be "back on the team." And that's exactly where it would be, The Base promised -- happy as clams, loyal as cocker spaniels -- the very moment the president caved in to its demands. Which the president did just as soon as he could, and with barely a whimper of complaint. The Base, needless to say, was beside itself with joy. A rough patch -- that's all it had been. But it was over now, and The Base and the president were back together where they belonged, and they'd stay together, forever. Until the next time he steps out of line. Posted 11/3/05. You'll
never be out of line when you click to "Rick's" for award-winning commentary!
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Rick Horowitz
