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No matter what... It's So Nice to Have PrinciplesBy Rick Horowitz "...and while you're at it, find out if Cheney's running low on videos. We want him safe, we don't want him bored." "Certainly, Mr. President. Is there anything else, or should I send in your House leaders now?" "Bring 'em on. Haven't seen those -- well, speak of the devil! Dick, Tom, good to see you -- how's it going?" "Very well, Mr. President. How was Camp David?" "Good to get away, good to be back. Where's the Speaker?" "He's tied up this morning -- Tom and I figured we'd come over ourselves." "Well, you'd better untie him before he gets ticked off at you again." "It's for his own good -- he keeps talking to Democrats. Anyway, there was something you wanted to see us about?" "Got a favor to ask you. I know the calendar's jammed up solid, but I'm gonna need to ask for an emergency supplemental before you guys go out for the year." "Let's hear it." "I was talking to Rumsfeld over the weekend, and he's getting an earful from the Joint Chiefs. Not that anything's going wrong over there, you understand, but just looking down the road, and considering we don't want to get caught short anywhere else, they're saying we oughta ramp up troop levels right now. We're talking 25, maybe 30,000 new people tops, total appropriation over two years maybe -- " "Sorry, Mr. President -- no can do." "Excuse me?" "What Dick means, Mr. President, with all respect, is that we can't help you on this one." "But you haven't even heard how much it costs! It's not as bad as -- " "It's not a question of cost, Mr. President. It's a question of principle." "Principle." "Absolutely. You go recruit and train and deploy 30,000 new troops, you know what you've got?" "A stronger army? A stronger navy? A -- " "You've got 30,000 new federal employees. I'm sorry, Mr. President, but if you're against big government, you have to draw the line somewhere." "I thought you drew the line with the baggage screeners. I sure hope we don't get -- " "Exactly, Mr. President. And this is just more of the same: Somebody's got a problem, the government's supposed to solve it. You can't go nationalizing the work force every time somebody starts whining about a crisis." "But -- " "Tom's right, Mr. President. I'm sure the Joint Chiefs are nice fellas and all, but they really need to keep their eye on the ball. Are you sure this isn't something Gephardt dreamed up?" "Gephardt? Gephardt had nothing to -- " "Because the first thing, you put 30,000 more federal employees out there, they'll join some federal employees union. Then they'll start contributing to Democrat campaigns, like they always do." "Guys, we're talking about the Marines!" "That's what they want you to think. Look, Mr. President, why don't we just leave this to the private sector -- I'm sure they can get quality troops out in the field twice as fast as we can." "But they're not -- " "Besides, isn't that what your stimulus package is all about? All those big tax cuts we're handing out to our friends are supposed to create new jobs, right? Well, here are some new jobs they can start creating. Can't you see it? The General Motors Brigade taking Kabul! The IBM Airborne bombing the caves! The -- " "You guys are serious, aren't you?" "Mr. President, some things are just worth fighting for." Posted 11/6/01. Fight
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Rick Horowitz
