 |
Coulda shoulda mighta It's a Quarter to Three...By Rick Horowitz
"His friends say he is exasperated because he views himself as ideally equipped to be president at a time of crisis." The mood of Bill Clinton, according to recent news accounts "...and then I'd say to them, 'You've got 24 hours, and then we're coming in after you.' Show 'em we're serious. And after that -- " "Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. President -- you want another one?" "Yeah. No, wait -- make it a Scotch this time. Gimme the best you've got -- and better make it a double." "You got it." "So anyway -- where was I?" "Something about the Taliban. How you'd -- " "Right. You gotta show 'em who's in charge over there. Otherwise they walk all over you. It's like I used to say to my Cabinet, 'We're here to run things, not to be on the run.'" "Very nice." "You get it? To run things, not to be -- " "Got it." "And the other thing you need -- thanks, Milt -- is to take charge on the home front. Emergency like this comes along, you need a president who's in command. Who can rise to the occasion." "I don't know, but I think the kid's doin' OK, considering everything. Once he got his legs under him and started making those speeches -- " "Those speeches? Straight off the prompter, that's all they were! Milt, tell this guy about the time I was giving my health-care speech to Congress and they loaded the wrong speech and -- " " -- he ad-libbed for nine minutes until they got it fixed. Didn't miss a beat." "That must have been scary for you." "Not even a little! See, that's my point: Some people are made for that kind of thing -- it's just a question of what shows up on your plate. You get a crisis to handle, you go down in history as one of the greats. You don't, you don't. You think they build monuments -- another one, Milt -- for low unemployment? For getting rid of the deficit?" "None of my business, Mr. President, but shouldn't you be gettin' home to the missus? Holiday season and all that?" "You're right, Milt -- it's none of your business. Another one." "You're the boss." "Look, I'm sure you did the best you could. Just because -- " "She's never home. She's got important things to do. I wanted to go after him, you know." "Go after him?" "Bin Laden. I was willing to do it, but you think anybody would've supported putting troops in there back then? Not a chance! After the Trade Center, that's a whole different ballgame." "A whole different ballgame." "You bet it is! They tried blowing it up back in '93, you know, but nothing happened. I mean, something happened, but not a lot. If they'd brought the thing down back then, we'd have had ourselves a real crisis to deal with. Then you'd have seen some leadership!" "That was a tough break for you." "Is it my fault they didn't bring enough explosives?! And Newt Gingrich! Don't get me started about Newt Gingrich!" "I wouldn't dream of -- " "If the towers come down in '93, my ratings go sky-high just the way Bush's are now. My ratings go sky-high, we don't lose the Congress in '94, and Gingrich stays a nobody instead of -- hey, Milt, did I ever tell you about the time Gingrich went ballistic about -- " " -- his seat on Air Force One. Heard it." "Oh. It's a great story, though, isn't it? See -- I'll have another one -- we're coming back from..." Posted 11/22/01.
Rick quenches your thirst for fresh commentary twice every week -- so
belly up to your browser!
|
  |
Rick Horowitz
