There's nothing like a sympathetic ear

Ask Dr. Rummy

By Rick Horowitz

Dear Dr. Rummy: My boyfriend is the greatest guy I ever met. "Mark" and I have been together for the past three months, and during all that time we haven't had a single fight. Lately, though, I get the feeling that he's losing interest in me. He says he's doesn't feel like doing any of the fun things like we used to, and he keeps talking about needing his "space." I'm so afraid he's going to break up with me. What should I do? Petrified in Peoria
Dear Petrified: You don't know for sure that he's losing interest in you -- it's also possible he has a fatal disease.

Dear Dr. Rummy: Our three-year-old son, "Timmy," has always been a handful, but for the past few weeks, he's been even more active than usual. We can't afford a full-time babysitter, which means that we take him with us most everywhere we go. Generally, our friends are OK with it, but last week, one of them said to my husband, "So how's the Energizer Bunny?" When he (my husband) told me about it, he laughed, but I thought it was insulting. Should we still be friends with these people? Bummed Out in Batavia
Dear Bummed: The more interesting question, at least from a theoretical standpoint, is whether you should still be friends with your husband.

Dear Dr. Rummy: I'm a typical American teenage girl, with one exception -- I've got a birthmark on my forehead. It's only about the size of a quarter, but whenever I'm near a boy I like, it feels like it's as big as a billboard! Then I get all embarrassed and act silly, and they go talk to someone else. I think I should have a "makeover" on my face, but my mom says the birthmark is part of who I am. Can you help us settle our argument? Cosmetically Challenged
Dear Challenged: You could have all the "makeovers" in the world and still be ignored by the boys. Maybe the real problem is your personality.

Dear Dr. Rummy: My girlfriend "Gina" (not her real name) and I have been talking about getting married as soon as we both graduate from high school. We get along just great in every way, so you can imagine how I felt when she got a letter from one of her old boyfriends, and then she started going out every night to visit a "sick friend." When I confronted her about it, she told me a relationship has to be built on trust. I want to trust her, but it's hard to do. But I'm also afraid if I push too hard, I'll push her right back to the other guy. I need some good advice. Totally in Turmoil
Dear Totally: Stuff happens.

Dear Dr. Rummy: The crowd I've been running with recently is pretty wild -- they're all good guys, and we don't do anything really bad, but we like pushing the limits. Anyway, ever since we got our reputation, some of us feel like we have to live up to it and keep doing weirder stuff all the time. Lately, I've been having these dreams where we're driving really fast and we cross the center line on the highway and smash right into another car and everybody's killed. Is this my conscience telling me to slow down? Fred is Freaked
Dear Fred: It's not a matter of conscience, it's a matter of physics -- two solid objects can't occupy the same space at the same time. You put two heavy, rapidly moving vehicles on a collision course, and the energy transfer to the occupants themselves at the moment of impact will be enormous. I'm not surprised there weren't any survivors.

Dear Dr. Rummy: My husband is a wonderful guy, and we have big dreams for our future together. A few months ago, he was called back to his National Guard unit and shipped off to Iraq. From the letters and e-mails he sends me, I know he's really nervous about what's going on there, and whether he has the right training and the equipment he needs to do his job safely. I'm even thinking of buying him some extra armor he can put on his Humvee, but I don't want him to think I'm interfering. But if anything happened to him because he didn't have enough protection, I don't know what I'd do. I'm really confused -- can you help? Loyal Lisa
Dear Loyal: No.

Posted 12/15/04. Get fresh commentary from syndicated columnist Rick Horowitz twice every week.

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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