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VINTAGE rick
It
was nearly unimaginable back then: Israelis and Palestinians
shaking hands on the White House lawn. It's even harder
to imagine now. Remember September of '93 in this Vintage
Rick!
NEW seasonal fave
Why
do they call it "traveling" if you're standing still?
And can't anyone do something about it? Get moving with
this Seasonal Fave!
Lift those voices!
Straight from Santa: Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz
Christmas!
By Rick Horowitz
Washington
- There's something about being here in the holiday season that
puts a song in your heart. Actually, lots of songs. Yes indeedy, boys
and girls: it's time for a Capital Edition of a Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!
And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a...
Jingle Bells,
Baker yells,
"Time to make some moves."
Tries to push,
But he can't sway Bush
Long as Barney still approves.
Jingle Bells,
Mideast hells,
We'll be there for years,
Blown to bits
While the prez just sits
With his fingers in his ears.
•
• •
Here comes Hillary,
Here comes Hillary,
Right down Candidate Lane,
Riding momentum -- here comes Obama
Slowing down her train.
Folks nostalgic for Willie's magic
Find they're having to choose,
Quite a shock but they like Barack,
So Hillary's feeling the blues.
•
• •
It's beginning to look a lot like Frist missed,
Ev'rywhere you go,
Take a glance at the latest poll,
He's gone right down the hole,
Couldn't get his duckies in a row...
It's beginning to look a lot like Frist missed,
Swaying to and fro,
But the moment he came undone -
Diagnosis on the run --
Was the fatal blow.
•
• •
Frosty the conman
Who puts all his loot on ice,
He's content to play the New Orleans way,
And his voters don't think twice.
He's re-elected:
William Jefferson once more,
Don't you wonder how?
It was ninety thou!
But the country knows the score.
•
• •
Voters retching, pundits kvetching,
Filled with pain and disgust,
In the air there's a feeling of failure.
Say "Macaca,"
"Hey, Macaca!"
And it all turns to dust,
And in ev'ry new survey you hear:
Hang it up,
Hang it up,
George stuck his foot in it big-time,
Had a chance,
Racist rants
Made Allen's dreams fly away.
•
• •
Said the right wing to the mini-cam:
Do you see Pelosi? (Do you see Pelosi?)
Teeth that never stop, mini-cam,
Do you see Pelosi? (Do you see Pelosi?)
A purge, a purge,
Can't resist the urge,
So Ms. Harman just had to go:
Once a rival, always a foe...
•
• •
Deck is stacked against Mitt Romney,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,
Mass. produce a Grand Old nom'nee?
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Time to do some heavy lifting,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,
Watch his views -- Guess what? They're shifting!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
•
• •
Have yourself a Kerry little Christmas,
If it's not too late,
From now on,
You're better off to play it straight.
Have yourself a Kerry little Christmas,
Take your share of pokes,
From now on, though,
Better stay away from jokes...
•
• •
O Foley Nights
The pages are in danger!
He's coming on now
For all he is worth.
O Foley Nights,
Some know and even stranger,
They let this smooth pile of sleaze
Stalk the earth...
•
• •
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays!
Don't forget about your doormen,
When gratuities are due.
Happy Holidays!
Ritzy-Carlton ways!
Harry Reid will not ignore men,
With the cash that came from you...
•
• •
He said, "Let's go to war,"
He's Rummy-tum-tum,
He didn't do much more,
He's Rummy-tum-tum.
He should have sent more troops,
Rum-Rummy-tum-tum,
And still he won't say "Oops!"
He's Rummy-tum-tum,
Smart as they come,
Boy, was that dumb!
Posted 12/16/06.
Tell your friends - they'll want to sing Rick's phrases, too!
Rick Horowitz
