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Looking
for the hits you missed? Try
Recent
Rick for tons o' fun.
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It
was nearly unimaginable back then: Israelis and Palestinians
shaking hands on the White House lawn. It's even harder
to imagine now. Remember September of '93 in this Vintage
Rick!
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Why
do they call it "traveling" if you're standing still?
And can't anyone do something about it? Get moving with
this Seasonal Fave!
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Yule be tuneful
Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Holiday
By Rick Horowitz
It's beginning
to look a lot like Christmas? That was months ago! But the big day's
getting closer every minute, so now's the perfect time to gather 'round
the Yule log with the latest seasonal songbook from the OK Chorale.
(Don't forget your flame-retardant booties!) And-a-one, and-a-two, and...
Away in a chamber,
No rest for his soul,
The brutal dictator,
Lay down in a hole.
They found him,
They caught him,
They took him away,
The world saw the pictures,
The world said, "Hooray!"
* * *
When a nation needs rebuilding,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,
Or a contract needs some gilding,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
There is only one thing certain,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,
Place your bets on Halliburton,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
* * *
O little town beset with phlegm,
It's ugly but it's true,
In halls and dens your ci-ti-zens,
Are suff'ring with the flu.
The fever keeps on rising,
The signs say, "Quarantine,"
If only they had looked ahead,
And made the right vaccine.
* * *
Here comes Lieberman,
Here comes Lieberman,
Overcoming the pain,
Albert can gore him,
Dis and ignore him,
He'll just rise again.
Crowds are growing,
Money flowing,
He's got plenty of fight,
It's a pity to break the news,
But Democrats can't run right.
* * *
Arrest the rebellious,
Throw them in the slammer,
Confine them, consign them to
Guanta-a-namo.
Don't give them lawyers,
Keep them there forever,
We're ready to sustain it,
Determined to maintain it,
We don't have to explain it,
Lo-ock the doors!
* * *
(Dean-Dong-Dean-Dong!
Dean-Dong-Dean-Dong!)
Happy Howard days,
Happy Howard days,
Let the governor keep bringing
Happy Howard days to you.
Happy Howard days,
Happy Howard days,
The Republicans are singing,
"Let our Howard dreams come true!"
* * *
Said the right wing to the little lamb,
"Do you see the weapons?
Piles and piles of Dubya-M-D.
Do you see the weapons?
It's war, it's war!
Talking is a bore,
Give the order, won't this be fun!"
If al-Qaeda waits till we're done.
* * *
O Taliban, O Taliban,
You're somewhere in Afghanistan,
O Taliban, O Taliban,
Resurgent in Afghanistan.
We thought we'd put an end to you,
Bin Laden's still a friend to you,
O Taliban, O Taliban,
We must have been distracted.
* * *
Dems dislike the prez: "He's dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb,"
No matter what he says: "He's dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb,"
He doesn't give a hoot: "Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb,"
He's raised a ton of loot --
He's not so dumb-dumb,
Not so dumb-dumb,
Not so dumb-dumb...
* * *
Silent night,
What a sight,
Good ol' Strom
Talked so white,
Segregationist unreconciled,
Held a Negro girl, fathered her child --
Sleep, you hypocrite, slee-eep,
Sleep, you hypocrite, sleep.
Posted 12/18/03.
For highly seasoned greetings, "Rick's" is the place to click -- spread
the good cheer!
 Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV
commentator, writing coach and public speaker
©2003 Rick Horowitz. All rights reserved.
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