Looking
for the hits you missed? Try
Recent
Rick for tons o' fun.
VINTAGE rick
It
was nearly unimaginable back then: Israelis and Palestinians
shaking hands on the White House lawn. It's even harder
to imagine now. Remember September of '93 in this Vintage
Rick!
NEW seasonal fave
Why
do they call it "traveling" if you're standing still?
And can't anyone do something about it? Get moving with
this Seasonal Fave!
High time for holiday harmonizing
Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!
By Rick Horowitz
You've
looked at the calendar, yes? So you know what's coming, don't you? Grab
your songbooks, boys and girls -- it's time for Yet Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz
Christmas! And a one, and a two. and a...
Fill...the
halls and make it raucous,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,
I-o-wa's about to caucus,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
They go first and we resent 'em,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,
Why should they decide momentum?
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
• • •
Rudolph the Giuliani,
Had a honey on the side,
And if you saw the records,
You would have to say he lied.
It takes a lot of planning,
When the mayor's on a spree,
Nice to have Bernie Kerik
Vouch for his integrity!
•
• •
See Major Leaguers hustling,
Mus-mus-muscling, too,
The scandal spreads like tumors
'Cause all those rumors are true.
They thickened up with lotions,
With pills and potions and goo,
While Selig watched them playing
And now is saying, "Who knew?"
•
• •
Georgie the "No" man,
With his veto pen unfurled,
Picking lots of spats with the Democrats
While he tries to run the world.
They send him budgets,
And he always sends them back,
Saying "Not my taste" --
But it's fine to waste
Half a trillion in Iraq.
•
• •
Ed...wards fights...
For...your rights...
Just one goal...
In his sights.
Boyish charm and that megawatt smile,
Hard...to square with a bellicose style,
Swears he's just what we ne-ed:
Millionaires hammering greed.
•
• •
Mitt's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas,
Ev'rywhere he goes,
He says Jesus is Number One --
(Till Iowa is done) --
Is it real or only just a pose?
Mitt's beginning to spook a lot of Christians,
Rivals closing in,
So no matter what Romney says,
'bout a Mormon as the prez,
He's a might-have-been.
•
• •
Ahmedinejad...
Ahmedinejad...
Hear the president keep saying,
"Ahmedinejad, you're through."
With uranium...
On the cranium...
What a blow to all that braying,
If the NIE is true!
•
• •
O here we go Kucinich-ing,
A task we know so well,
Though Dennis hasn't even
A snowball's chance in hell.
Why's he still on the stage?
Why won't he just act his age?
'Stead of sta-ting positions
With no ifs, no ands, no buts,
Still he's not Alan Keyes:
He isn't nuts.
•
• •
O Huckabee,
Mike Huckabee,
You came from out of nowhere,
O Huckabee,
Mike Huckabee,
You're giving them a good scare.
You smile and tell the smoothest jokes,
You come across like reg'lar folks,
O Huckabee,
Mike Huckabee,
But is there any "there" there?
•
• •
Said the Veep to the people ev'rywhere,
"Do you fear what I fear?
Be afraid, people ev'rywhere!
Do you fear what I fear?
It's nukes, it's nukes,
Controlled by foreign kooks,
Which is why I'm threat'ning Iran --
When it comes to kooks,
I'm your man."
•
• •
Oba-ma is faithful,
Not like Hill'ry's husband,
O run, Bill,
Have fun Bill,
Ev'ry cha-ance you get.
Run after ladies,
Scandal's 'round the corner,
He cannot keep his pants on,
He will not keep his pants on,
We cannot take a chance on
Him ge-etting bored!
Posted 12/18/07.
Lift those voices! Share Rick's verses with your friends!
Rick Horowitz
