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Buy and buy Everything Must Go!By Rick Horowitz
Still searching for the perfect holiday gift for that special person in your life? Well, your search is over. Our highly trained buyer-sleuths have been combing the countryside for the latest and greatest in odd lots, overstocks and closeouts -- and this time, we've hit the mother lode! You've been following every amazing twist of this once-in-a-lifetime presidential election, right? (Who hasn't been?) Here's your chance to share some of that magic with the ones who mean the most to you. And if you decide you want a few of these extraordinary gifts for your very own, we know just how you feel -- we're having a hard time parting with them ourselves! So make sure your mouse is stirring, and click away on some of these goodies: The Count of Monte Christmas -- "Democracy is an inexact science," the poets say. You'll see what they mean with this authentic Vote-O-Matic voting machine, the very same make and model that captured the world's attention in Palm Beach County, Fla. They're being taken out of commission after decades of loyal (if imprecise) service, and we've snagged a truckload of 'em! Match your strength and eye-hand coordination against "the machine that picked a president." Perfect for the rec room or den, but a conversation stopper anywhere you put it. A "steal" at...$249.95. (Includes stylus and sample ballots.) Concession Obsession -- It's the speech so nice, he wrote it twice! Every presidential election has a heart-tugging concession speech from the losing candidate, but how many have two? From the same candidate? More than a month apart? Now you can read both of Al Gore's concession speeches: his gracious December prime-time address, plus the never-delivered-and-already-legendary "Just Kidding" speech from Election Night itself. We've snapped up a limited supply of first-quality photocopies of both speech texts, with Gore's own handwritten corrections clearly visible in the margins, and we've encased them side-by-side in a handsome brushed-aluminum frame. For the Gore supporter on your list, it's a poignant slice of history. For the Bush supporter, it's a double-barreled giggle. Only $59.95. (Includes numbered Certificate of Authenticity.) Pieces on Earth -- Was there ever a more notorious election souvenir than all those tiny bits of Florida ballot debris? Not likely -- and you can keep the excitement bubbling right through the holiday season with "Scads o' Chads!" Swept from the actual floors of actual Florida polling places, "Scads o' Chads" can go anywhere your imagination can go. Snowflakes on the model-train tracks on Christmas morning? Confetti floating down on New Year's Eve? Your wish is Chad's command! Five-lb. bag: $14.95. Ten-lb. bag: $11.95. (Biodegradable.) Clothes Make the Mandate? -- He may have lost his "Alpha bet," but Al Gore's defeat spells savings for you! Turn the "gee"-man in your life into a real he-man with the Earth-Tone Collection, rugged activewear that's ideal for the campaign trail, or any trail. Image isn't everything -- but it's worth a shot. Shirts: $29.95. Slacks: $44.95. Cell-phone pouch: $19.95. Bird in the Hand, Three in the Bush -- There's a bumper somewhere that's just crying for a distinctive sticker. How about "Jeb's Even Better"? Baby Brother may be the real talent in the family, but all that post-election huffing and puffing in Florida has sent the Gov's prospects tumbling. It made our buyers pretty happy, though -- they were able to clean out a warehouse full of these attractive items for a rock-bottom price. Besides, you never know... $2.95 ea. And don't miss this: But Seriously, Folks -- What was the Great Recount Battle of 2000 about? It was about principle! Whether it was "Count every vote" or "Don't change the rules in the middle of the game" or "States' rights" or "Judicial restraint" or so many others, every player and institution in this astonishing drama spoke endlessly about the vital principles that were at stake. Lucky for us, though, every one of them was willing to toss those principles aside the moment it was more convenient, so we've grabbed them all for you! They're practically in mint condition, and they're ideal for hanging over the mantelpiece -- an inspiration for generations to come. "Principles" assortment (one dozen): 10 cents. Posted 12/19/00.
Why not give your special someone a visit to "Rick's"?" You'll
both get the freshest stuff twice every week!
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Rick Horowitz