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When the little things count Cutting the Campaign Down to SighsBy Rick Horowitz
"...so then I said, 'Sure, but our guy has a wardrobe palette that's worth four points, minimum.' And then he -- Al! C'mon in, we're just getting started. Great job in the debate!" "You think? It felt pretty good from where I was sitting." "Practically on top of him, you mean?" "Well, you said I should get in his face." "And you did a great job of it! That no-ads proposal really caught him by surprise. And that handshake -- " "Hey, I just kept it out there, just like you said. He didn't know whether to shake the thing or spit on it! 'It's a ploy!' he says. Well, duh! Isn't that what the kids say? 'Well, duh'?" "Al, it was a great move! And it led all the coverage, just like we figured. He did get off that one good line, though: 'I'm not someone who's interested in tactics, I'm interested in the direction this country is taking.' Not bad." "Can I use that?" "Let's poll it first, see how it plays for you, we'll get back to you tomorrow." "Fair enough. So how'd you like the rest of it? Tapping him on the arm look OK?" "It looked fine. You didn't overdo it, which was the key thing. And your facial expression -- the perfect mix of friendly and condescending." "I kept waiting for him to throw one of those elbows he keeps talking about." "If it comes, it comes -- then we start talking temperament, right? 'Finger on the button,' that sort of thing. We've got him either way." "And my sound effects?" "Terrific! Where'd you learn to sigh like that? The guy started to say anything that could've been a problem for us, there you were, sighing away clear as a bell!" "You liked the sighs better than the rueful chuckles? I worked pretty hard on the rueful chuckles." "The rueful chuckles were good. We thought the sighs were better." "And the tongue clucks?" "Not as good as the sighs or the rueful chuckles. On the tongue clucks, you either have to get the volume up, or you have to wait till you're in the shot and combine it with the head shake." "So the visual reinforces the sound?" "Exactly." "So sighing is one, rueful chuckle is two, tongue cluck -- " "With the head shake..." " -- is three. How about whistling? I can do a pretty good 'I'm totally confident here' kind of whistly thing. That would really throw him off stride, don't you think?" "Maybe, but can you whistle under pressure? The last thing we want is you puckered up on network TV with nothing coming out -- we've already got this whole gays-in-the-military thing. We don't need -- " "I've got it!" "You do?" "Forget whistling -- how about armpit noise? You know, where I put my hand under my armpit and -- " "It's got possibilities. You probably couldn't use it more than once or twice a debate, you know, so you'd really have to pick your spots. But no question it would mess up his timing, and that's what counts." "OK, so where are we? I've got sighing one, rueful chuckle two, armpit noise three, tongue cluck four. Everyone comfortable with that?" "As long as you are." "Then we're set. Great meeting!" "Great meeting!" Posted 12/21/99.
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Rick Horowitz
