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Looking
for the hits you missed? Try
Recent
Rick for tons o' fun.
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It
was nearly unimaginable back then: Israelis and Palestinians
shaking hands on the White House lawn. It's even harder
to imagine now. Remember September of '93 in this Vintage
Rick!
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Why
do they call it "traveling" if you're standing still?
And can't anyone do something about it? Get moving with
this Seasonal Fave!
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Tuneful tidings
Another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!
By Rick Horowitz
Can they blow
it? Of course they can blow it -- they're Democrats! But for now, at
least, the prez and his pals have some problems, and the Dems are definitely
in the holiday spirit. It's time to strike up the chorus -- which means
it's time for another Ho-Ho-Horowitz Christmas!
And a one, and
a two, and a...
I saw Dubya tapping Santa Claus,
Over at the NSA last night,
He thought I'd simply sneeze
At taking liberties,
He said that Santa's making calls to Blitzen overseas...
•
• •
O Abramoff, Jack Abramoff,
The noose is slowly tight'ning,
O Abramoff, Jack Abramoff,
Your future's rather fright'ning.
It's not polite to lie and steal,
It's time for you to make a deal,
O Abramoff, Jack Abramoff,
You'll torch the Hill like lightning.
•
• •
The weather outside is storming,
And it looks like global warming,
But the president says, "Go slow!
We don't know, we don't know, we don't know."
The temperature's slowly rising,
And we're through with all surmising,
But the president still says, "Whoa!
We don't know, we don't know, we don't know."
•
• •
Brownie the Showman,
With his sleeves rolled good and high,
Did a total choke
When the levees broke,
While he sat there nice and dry...
•
• •
It's beginning to be a war on Christmas,
Ev'rywhere you go,
True believers are getting shocks --
I heard it all on Fox --
Anything to make the ratings grow.
They keep talking about a war on Christmas,
They've been keeping score,
But hypocrisy at its best is O'Reilly and the rest
With a two-by-four.
•
• •
Use the phone,
And we'll listen,
All restraints
We're dismissin',
The country's at war,
We have to do more,
Living in a Cheney wonderland.
Throw away
All decorum,
Secret courts,
We'll ignore 'em,
We're strong and we're wise,
Perpetual spies,
Living in a Cheney wonderland!
•
• •
Dashing through the hall,
With the sheriff on his way,
Watch the mighty fall:
Farewell, Tom DeLay!
Power's getting sapped,
Doom is drawing nigh,
All in all, it couldn't happen
To a nicer guy!
Oh, Ring his bells, ring his bells,
Ring them night and day,
Oh what fun, the Hammer nailed,
Then he'd have to go away, hey!
Ring his bells, ring his bells,
Time to make him pay,
Oh what fun, the Hammer jailed
And his gang in disarray!
Posted 12/22/05.
Yule be tuneful, too, when you click to "Rick's" for award-winning satire!
 Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV
commentator, writing coach and public speaker.
©2005 Rick Horowitz. All rights reserved.
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