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No, really... Oh, You Shouldn't Have!By Rick Horowitz Dear Aunt Cynthia, It was so sweet of you to think of us this Christmas, especially with all the traveling you've been doing lately. Harold and I had no idea anyone still made tweed pajamas -- we can only imagine the quaint little village where you must have found them for us. Just the thought of putting them on brings a rosy glow to our cheeks. Your loving niece,
Dear Grandpa Lou, Thank you for the present. It was a really nice brick I like it alot. Mommy says it looks like her old house. Only smaller. Sincerly,
Dear Tamara and Phil, You guys have done it again! Just when we thought you couldn't possibly top last year's solar-powered salad spinner, you come up with "Thermometer in a Jar." What a concept! I know we'll be thinking of you every time we're feeling feverish. When it comes to Christmas presents, you're definitely in a league of your own. Warmly,
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Whitson, We can't begin to describe Jeremiah's reaction when he opened your box on Christmas morning. "How to Play the Air Cello"? Such an interesting choice! Did you know he already plays the drums? Your next-door neighbors,
Dear Marguerite, Leave it to you to try to fill a girl's every need! You said you'd picked out something special for me, but I had no idea just how special it would be. I'm sure I'll be the first person in my entire department wearing a combination locket, cell phone, hair dryer and ammo belt. Wherever did you find it? (And how late are they open?) Yours,
Dear Grandma Fran, Thank you for the present. I never had a bird that talked. Mommy says she never knew those words, but Daddy says them when he hits the hammer on his finger. I like it alot. Sincerly,
Dear Uncle Rowland and Aunt Panky and Cousins Ursula and Xaviera, Carrie and I were struck absolutely speechless when we received your card telling us that a "generous donation" had been made in our name to the "RPUX Foundation." While we're not actually acquainted with this particular organization, we're sure that you know them very well. Anybody can send presents at Christmastime, but it takes a special kind of family to do what you've done, and we'll never forget it. Cordially,
Hey Guys! Is this some sort of sick joke? I distinctly remember telling you I still had the complete set of presidential cereal bowls you gave me five years ago. Did you really think that meant I wanted the vice-presidential salad plates, too? Next time, how about a gift certificate, OK? Thanks for nothing!
Dear Aunt Mavis, We hardly know what to say, but you guessed exactly right, as always: We don't have a plow. It'll be just the thing to brighten up our apartment. Ever grateful,
Dear Sis, Thanks for the sweater -- Santa's elves look so festive running up and down the sleeves. If I'm not mistaken, it looks exactly like the one Mom and Dad got you last year. The next time we go over there, let's make sure we're both wearing them. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces! Best,
Dear Grandpa Bert, Thank you for the pet python. I like it alot. What kind of food does
Posted 12/27/01.
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Rick Horowitz
