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One more list? One more list. Did Somebody Say, "Batter Up!"?By Rick Horowitz
Hold your calls. Also your letters. Not to mention your e-mail. The waiting is over, and the decision of the judges is final. With a new era looming ever larger on the horizon, the 1900s will soon be no more than a fleeting memory, a crumpled Kleenex by the side of the road in the rear-view mirror of life. But before we abandon the tired cliches of the past for the newer and fresher cliches of the future, we need to pause for a moment to consider where we've been, to take stock of our vast accomplishments in so many spheres of human endeavor, to recognize that all the good end-of-the-century lists have already been taken. So without further ado... The Pancake of the Century is: Banana Nut. Our distinguished panel of culinary connoisseurs has spent literally minutes over these past few days digging into the world of pancakes, sifting and sampling and seeking a consensus on excellence. And while the arguments sometimes grew as heated as the pancakes themselves, a clear winner gradually emerged: Banana Nut, the pancake for our times. "Banana Nut has it all," one judge enthused in a typical assessment. Alone among our leading contenders (Blueberry pancakes finished a distant second, nosing out Chocolate Chip, a solid third), the Banana Nut pancake combined popular appeal with the sort of cutting-edge inventiveness that tickles food critics as well. For the mass audience -- and the results of our non-scientific online poll certainly confirmed this view -- the sudden sweetness of those just-past-ripe banana slices was reward enough, and often made thoughts of syrup seem superfluous. Our experts, on the other hand, were intrigued by the subtle interplay of textures -- the fleshiness of the fruit set against the firmness of the chopped walnuts or pecans. "Every bite's an adventure," said one longtime fan. And with prominent ingredients featured from two of the major food groups (yellow things, brown things), Banana Nut made its case for No. 1 on nutritional grounds, too. In short, our judges concluded, Banana Nut offered the total pancake experience -- but the other members of our Top Ten had absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Though none of them had the breadth of support captured by Banana Nut, each of them had its fervent backers. So "Batter Up!" -- here's the best of the rest, along with excerpts from our judges' comments. No. 2: Blueberry. "Wonderfully juicy," most of our panel agreed, though several worried that ripe blueberries can't handle the spatula pressure. "A squished berry," said one, "is not a merry berry." No. 3: Chocolate Chip. Youth appeal was the key to Chocolate Chip's strong showing, but our parent judges admitted sneaking a bite or two themselves when the kids weren't looking. "Too gooey for Pancake of the Century," admitted one judge, "but I sure do love 'em!" No. 4: Silver Dollar. "Is it just me," one member of our panel wondered, "or do Silver Dollar pancakes look like a pile of zeroes? Like, for instance, the Year 2000?" No. 5: Crepes Suzette. Perhaps the world's most famous pancakes -- certainly the most combustible. "There's a place for a flaming pancake topping," one panelist conceded, "but not in my kitchen!" No. 6: German. Another great presentation went only so far for some on our panel. "Amazing architecture!" said one fan. But "Stick a fork in it," said another. "It's all hot air." No. 7 (tie): Buckwheat Blini and Cheese Blintzes. Poetic justice, these high- and low-end wrap-and-roll favorites finishing in a dead heat. "Like my mother used to make!" whispered several misty-eyed evaluators. No. 9: Sourdough Flapjacks. This 19th-century holdover was still winning converts all through the 20th. "There's gold in them thar stacks!" one history buff exclaimed. And finally... No. 10: Swedish.
This most delicate pancake, thin and lacy, somehow clawed its way into
the century's Top Ten. One judge spills the Swedish secret: "Love those
lingonberries!" And there you have it -- a Griddletop Gala fit for a
milestone. Coming next week: The Millennium's Best Auto-Body Shops.
Posted 12/28/99.
Satisfy your satire appetite right here at "Rick's"!
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Rick Horowitz