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Keep watching A New Millennium? Don't Touch That Dial!By Rick Horowitz
MEMORANDUM
If you're reading this memo, CONGRATULATIONS! It means we actually made it through the Great Millennial Rollover without the world coming to an end. And just as important, The Network was there all the way through, spanning the globe and covering every last mind-numbing minute of the thing. We should be proud -- and I'm saying that even before the final numbers are in. Not that we were doing it for the ratings, of course, but the overnights are looking very solid. (Very solid.) No question about it: We have a hit on our hands. So now what? Option One: We can fold our tent, pack up all our equipment and call the whole grand and glorious operation a "once-in-a-lifetime" event. Or... Option Two: We can think outside the box, and build something permanent on our successful little marathon. Something like: The Time-Zone Channel! That's right: The Time-Zone Channel. It's a natural for us. We've already proved that we can track a major happening from the International Date Line clear around the world and back again. So why not keep doing it? And why not tweak it into a whole new program concept? "The Time-Zone Channel -- Because the World Keeps Spinning." I know what you're thinking: A new millennium doesn't come along every day. So what? Nothing says we have to limit ourselves to something as momentous as a new millennium. Don't you want to see how they'll handle Leap Day in Lagos or Liverpool? Don't you want to see them celebrate the Vernal Equinox in Verona or Vancouver? OK -- you don't. But I'll bet somebody does. Lots of somebodies. Think Weather Channel, only with better music. Seriously now: Did you ever imagine that people would be willing to sit in front of their TVs for hours at a time looking at cold fronts? But they do it. Did you ever think that people would sit still day after day for congressional speeches? But they do it, and they're excited about it! You don't think we can make TZC at least as interesting as CSPAN?! "The Time-Zone Channel -- There's Always Something." All it takes is a little imagination; the programming is there for the taking. We showed millennial sunrises all around the world, right? Does the sun look any worse on January 10th? On April 23rd? TZC can do a whole month of sunrises. We can do sunsets. We can do rush hour. We can do Labor Day. We've already got all these overseas cameras bought and paid for. We can just bolt them to the sides of strategically located buildings -- or trees, if that's all they've got in some of these places. We don't even need to keep reporters there; we go with natural sound, natural pictures. (Of course, we could bolt some of our reporters to trees. I've got a few candidates...) The best thing is, we can keep it flexible. We'll have enough locations that if something is really dragging over here, we cut away to somewhere else. If something's going well, we can stay with it a little longer. And if something really catches on -- a bunch of speeches or exotic dances or whatever -- we can do specials. "Sunday Sermons," "Tuesdays with Maori," that sort of thing. I'm still working out the details, but I can feel it in my bones: This could be big. Here's the point: People would watch the feed from security cameras if we let them. I say we let them -- plus advertising. Let's do lunch. Posted 12/30/99.
Let's do "Rick's" -- you'll laugh your way through another century!
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Rick Horowitz