Clinton Crew Gets "D" for Conduct

By Rick Horowitz

A 12-Point Plan for Scandal Management...

Deny, Deny, Deny: The weaker the position, the firmer the finger wag. The vaguer the response, the stronger the set of the jaw. There's not a reason in the world to admit to anything; make them prove every last bit of it.

Delay, Delay, Delay: A day here, a day there, and pretty soon you're talking about real time. Floating out there somewhere is a "What the heck" date. Drag the thing out long enough and eventually people will say, "What the heck -- his term is almost over anyway." Or simply, "What the heck -- we're bored." Every hour wasted pays a dividend down the road; you never know when a Jim McDougal will keel over for you.

Defend, Defend, Defend: When sex is part of the question, the loyal spouse has to be part of the answer. Trot her out there to stand by her man -- again. Her own ethics may be a few dots short of saintly, but no matter; for this assignment, she's the one. After all, if the rumors don't bother her, why should they bother anyone else?

Deploy, Deploy, Deploy: You can hunker in the bunker only so long. Instead of sitting there in high catatonia while they come after you, get your own troops on the move. It's amazing what a few well-trained private investigators can do to level the playing field.

Define, Define, Define: They say it's about ethics, perjury, obstruction of justice. You say it's about leaks. There's nothing like a little change of subject to take some of the pressure off. You've got the most sophisticated communications apparatus in the world at your fingertips. Use it.

Deflect, Deflect, Deflect: When the evidence looks suspicious and other explanations fail, blame someone else. Personal gifts? Multiple visits? Maybe Betty Currie was the one having the affair with the intern. When pointing at a dedicated staffer, feel free to put your conscience on hold. Loyalty is a two-way street -- but not when a presidential motorcade is barreling through.

Decry, Decry, Decry: What kind of country do we live in, you should wonder at every opportunity, when people in positions of trust leak sensitive information to their contacts in the media? These kinds of complaints are most effective when delivered with a straight face; this is not always possible.

Demand, Demand, Demand: Prosecutorial misconduct should never go unchallenged. If there's any sign your adversaries have stepped over the line, make them justify their existence before the appropriate authorities. Call for a full investigation, however long it takes. (See "Delay, Delay, Delay.")

Defame, Defame, Defame: Nobody gets a free ride. Let your adversaries, and potentially damaging witnesses, know they can't continue to come after you without cost. Spread whatever dirt you've been able to dig up on them, no matter how spurious, no matter how irrelevant. Let them know there's plenty more where that came from.

Defy, Defy, Defy: Tell the press you've already given the public all the information it needs. Be prepared to assert executive privilege (or lawyer-client privilege, or Secret Service privilege) to keep embarrassing or incriminating facts from seeing the light of day. As long as your poll numbers hold up, your political opponents will think twice before they move against you.

Demean, Demean, Demean: Make the entire investigative process look small and seamy. Things that are beneath contempt often sink beneath notice. Let the squeamish complain that your strategies and methods diminish your office; you didn't get where you are by being squeamish.

Destroy, Destroy, Destroy: Politics ain't beanbag. Whatever it takes.

3/10/98