Listening to the Din of Spin

By Rick Horowitz

Lanny says it's over. Lanny says shut the whole thing down. It's time to get back to the people's business, Lanny says; the people don't care about this other stuff.

And by the way, Lanny says, ignore the report. It's not out yet, this report, and nobody knows what's in it -- but whenever it comes, and whatever it says, Lanny says: Ignore it.

Lanny's on the TV again, pushing the latest White House line. (When it's not Lanny, it's Mandy, or Rahm or Paul or James.) Lanny doesn't work for the White House anymore, not the way he once did when he was the president's chief scandal spokesman. Now when Lanny goes on TV, his hosts all make sure to mention he's not speaking "officially" for the White House. This doesn't prevent him from speaking "incessantly" for the White House.

Incessantly, and in perfect harmony (what a surprise!) with the rest of the Spin Gang.

It didn't take them long, did it? The Paula Jones case had barely hit the Dumpster -- a thoroughly appropriate resting place, all things considered -- before Lanny and his friends were buzzing around like gnats on a sweaty man, claiming vindication and pressing their sudden advantage.

Shut down the entire investigation, they insist. Wrap it up -- now. And by the way, ignore the report.

Sooner or later, they know, that (Laurel and) hardy band of slimebusters in Ken Starr's office will be pulling together everything they've uncovered about Bill Clinton's shadowy side. Then they'll send the report over to Congress, where in a matter of milliseconds, it'll be leaked to every news organization worthy of the name, and also to Matt Drudge.

For the loyal and highly teletropic Friends of Bill, this is not a pleasant prospect. After all, as far as sex and similar sorditudes are concerned, the Paula Jones business is just a piece of the rot. There are still Monica Lewinsky and Kathleen Willey and untold others out there, still allegations of perjury and suborning perjury and the like.

For that matter, sex is just one of many things Ken Starr has had on his mind lately. (And we mean that in the nicest way.) He's got Travelgate and Filegate and even, amazingly enough, the episode that got the whole shebang up and running in the first place: Whitewater, the Land Deal That Never Dies.

So beating the rap on Paula Jones doesn't get their man out of the woods, not by a long shot. So here's how they're trying to spin it this week, Lanny and the Gang:

The Paula Jones case was garbage; it should never have been brought.

Therefore (therefore?) Jones's charges were bogus from the get-go.

Since Jones's charges were bogus from the get-go, all the rest of that sex stuff must be bogus, too.

If all the sex stuff is bogus, what does that say about the non-sex stuff? And anyway...

Ken Starr recently tried to hire Stuart Taylor to help him prepare the big report. (Taylor, a National Journal columnist who has dug more deeply than most humans into the various allegations against Clinton, seems to have concluded that the Big Guy's moral compass is permanently set a few ticks shy of true north.)

Since Taylor has it in for Clinton, Starr's interest in hiring Taylor only proves again what a partisan Starr is.

If Taylor had gone to work for Starr, Starr's report would have been nothing but a partisan document.

Even though Taylor decided not to go to work for Starr, Starr's report will still be nothing but a partisan document.

Therefore: Ignore the report -- whenever it comes, whatever it says.

Lanny's not speaking "officially," of course.

4/10/98