Insufficient Postage? Insufficient Sense.

By Rick Horowitz

You've got your red barn. You've got your blue skies. You've got your golden fields. What's wrong with this picture?

Nothing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this picture -- except that certain people think that certain other people aren't giving this picture all the attention it deserves.

Welcome to the Sesquicentennial Snit Fit, Wisconsin-style. And the battleground for the Big Fight? For the Great Anniversary Disputation?

Postage stamps. Pretty impressive, huh?

Unless you live here, you probably don't know (you certainly don't care) that Wisconsin is celebrating its 150th year of statehood even as we speak. And like every other state that makes it to a milestone, Wisconsin has a full array of fun-yet-deeply-meaningful events planned to mark the occasion. Back in Washington, meanwhile, the Postal Service is joining the party, too, issuing a brand-new 32-cent stamp with your classic -- barn, skies, fields -- Wisconsin scene.

So what's the problem? The problem is numbers. Low numbers.

The Postal Service has printed 16 million of the things, which sounds like a pretty large number to most people. F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. isn't most people. He's a congressman, a Wisconsin congressman, and he's not happy.

It turns out that 16 million is a drop in the bucket, a cheese curd in the cooler, compared to what other states have been getting lately for their big days -- and their stamps were available nationwide; the Wisconsin stamp will be sold mostly in...Wisconsin. The Postal Service, Sensenbrenner points out, considered Utah's centennial worth 102 million stamps. Tennessee's bicentennial got 160 million. And Iowa -- next-door Iowa! -- saluted its sesqui with 163 million.

"It will be difficult to explain to Wisconsinites," Sensenbrenner has declared, "why our neighbor Iowa is worthy of a commemorative stamp issued in a quantity 10 times that of Wisconsin." (You just know this comes up all the time at town meetings. "Hey, forget Social Security -- where are our stamps?")

One possible reason for the disparity, of course, is simply: bad timing. If the first-class rate was about to go to 33 cents later this year, as seemed likely a few months ago, it wouldn't make much sense to print scads of 32-centers, would it? On the other hand, disrespect is lots more interesting to talk about.

For instance: "I think this is an insult to the people of Wisconsin and our cultural heritage."

Not to mention: "Even Bugs Bunny's commemorative stamp enjoyed a larger distribution than Wisconsin's is set to receive. I would argue that Wisconsin is more important to our nation's history and culture than a cartoon rabbit."

Getting a little riled up, are we? Of course, Sensenbrenner isn't the only one complaining; Wisconsin's two U.S. senators have weighed in with their concerns. (They don't call it "The Badger State" for nothing.) They may even get their way, all these heavy hitters; a Postal Service spokesman tells me the matter is now "under review." Who knows? There could be millions of extra Wisconsin stamps rolling off the presses any day now.

That's too bad. All these clever politicians, and they're looking at the situation completely backward.

Don't think Bunny. Think Beanie -- as in Beanie Baby. What makes a product hot right now isn't how many of them there are out there -- it's how few. Sure, there were tons of Iowa stamps floating around the country, and Utah stamps and Tennessee stamps. Did anyone pay the slightest bit of attention to them? Of course not.

But put something on the market in (relatively) small quantities, make it available only in select locations for a brief period of time, and what do you get? You get frenzy!

You get people driving to Wisconsin from all over the country, lining up outside post offices before sunrise. You get panicky mothers beating one another over the head to get that last precious roll of stamps for baby's college fund -- with full network coverage day after day.

Politicians count votes for a living; naturally they think more is better. This time, though, they're just plain wrong.

Want to say something nice about Wisconsin? Say "Happy Anniversary."

Want to say something memorable? Say "Supplies Are Limited!"

5/30/98