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It's diplomacy -- that doesn't mean it's diplomatic. Satirist Rick Horowitz looks East. Offense Intended. No Offense Taken.By Rick Horowitz Click. " -- all part of the pageantry President and Mrs. Clinton are encountering at every stop. And I have to tell you, Peter, it's really quite impressive." "Well, Sam, the Chinese have had centuries of practice -- it's no wonder they're so good at it. And this particular ceremony we've been watching?" "Peter, I understand from our guides that it's a special welcoming ritual traditionally extended to distinguished guests from foreign lands. Apparently the idea behind it is to make important visitors feel as if they're right at home, even when they're far from home." "Which would explain all the young women?" "Exactly." "Now, Sam, for all the show of good feelings on both sides so far, the president's trip hasn't been without controversy." "Certainly not, Peter. In fact, as you know, the struggle to control the images the world will see from here started even before the president left Washington. I'm thinking particularly of the sudden decision by the Chinese government, just before the trip began, to deny visas to those three reporters from Radio Free Asia." "The president tried to get the Chinese to reverse that decision, did he not?" "He tried, Peter, but he couldn't budge them, so those reporters are not along on this trip. The president, as you know, has called China's decision on this matter 'highly objectionable.'" "Quite an understandable reaction, from his point of view. And I gather, now that the president has actually arrived in China, that there have been other problems as well?" "Yes indeed, Peter. Now, it's true that ceremonial drums are often a part of Chinese 'pomp and circumstance,' if you will. But I think the president's advisers were caught off guard when the Chinese drummers started pounding away every time Mr. Clinton tried to talk about human rights." "Clearly an effort to stifle American criticism of China's record in that area, Sam. And the reaction from the traveling White House?" "Well, Peter, they've said it's 'unfortunate,' but that it shouldn't be permitted to stand in the way of the president's policy of 'constructive engagement.'" "And the kidnapping of Madeleine Albright?" "Also 'unfortunate,' they said. But again, since the Secretary of State was released relatively unharmed just a short time later, they're not inclined to make a big deal out of it. In any event -- " "Sam, let me interrupt you for a second here. There seems to be a flurry of activity starting up just behind you. Could you bring us up to speed?" "That would be the 'Dance Concerning Dissidents,' Peter, or as they sometimes call it here, 'A Billion Benefits of Minding One's Business.'" "And the White House doesn't see this as some kind of major slap in the face by the Chinese government?" "Not at all, Peter. In fact, they knew in advance that this was going to be part of the program, and their reaction was pretty much the same as when those villagers a few hours ago bound Mr. Clinton's feet, tied him to that special chair and tickled him senseless with pieces of an American-made missile-guidance system." "'Unfortunate'?" "'Regrettable,' Peter. They went for 'regrettable' this time.' Of course, they also pointed out that China is a 'very symbolic' country, so we shouldn't go leaping to any -- " Click. Posted 6/26/98. Fresh stuff right here twice weekly!
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