He's Got a Million of 'em!

By Rick Horowitz

You want privilege? They've got privilege. You want more privilege? They've got more privilege.

At least he didn't giggle. You want to be a White House spokesman, you have to make sure you don't giggle. What he said with a perfectly straight face, this particular White House spokesman, instead of with fluids running out his nose, which is how most of us would have handled it, was: "principles."

So that's what's behind all these strategic zigs and zags, the roadblocks and the stonewalls the White House keeps throwing up in l'affaire Lewinsky. It's not that the president did anything wrong or has anything to hide -- perish the thought! -- or that he's trying to drag things out. Every move he makes, every breath he takes, is motivated by "principles."

You bet.

So if, for instance, the White House announces that they won't be appealing the recent ruling that two of the president's top aides do have to testify about the Monica mess, it's only because they've already made their point and established the "principle." Executive privilege exists, the judge declared -- even if she also said it didn't apply in this specific case to either journalist-turned-apologist-turned-strategist Sidney Blumenthal or childhood-chum-turned-consigliere Bruce Lindsey.

And the White House isn't abandoning the appeal because -- just for instance -- Ken Starr had already said he would ask the Supreme Court to take the case on a fast-track basis, a direct threat to White House Executive Order 1984. ("Let's Not Look Any More Like Nixon Than Absolutely Necessary, OK?")

And they certainly wouldn't be abandoning their executive-privilege appeal because they've found another privilege -- lawyer-client privilege -- to assert on behalf of Backroom Bruce, who knows lots, lots more than Smooth Sidney does. Fighting this one out should slow things down nicely, of course; the White House doesn't appear heartbroken at the prospect.

Meanwhile, the Justice Department wants to take another crack at getting someone to buy a brand-new "protective-function privilege," which would keep Secret Service agents from testifying about anything they might have seen or heard on the Monica front. This -- surprise! -- will also take time.

But don't even think you've heard the last of this stuff. Executive privilege, lawyer-client privilege, protective-function privilege -- they've just begun polishing their briefs, as it were. How about...?

* "Boyhood-confidant privilege" -- There are sound public-policy reasons to encourage the creation of lifelong friendships, especially for those who may someday occupy "the loneliest office in the world." If the courts reject lawyer-client privilege for Lindsey's conversations with the president, "boyhood-confidant privilege" is certainly worth a try.

* "Diplomatic-discretion privilege" -- When senior aides are compelled to testify about one sort of confidential encounter that may have taken place in the White House, foreign dignitaries may fear that any conversations they have with the president in the presence of these aides would likewise be compromised. America's status as the world's only superpower would be threatened. The solution? Privilege for all senior aides.

* "Executive-digestion privilege" -- The last thing this country needs is White House chefs, waiters and busboys kept at a distance by future presidents concerned that these people might be compelled to testify about things they witnessed while performing their vital duties. If these highly trained individuals can't see with their own eyes the president's reaction to a particular main dish or side dish or soup or salad and make the necessary adjustments, the nutritional well-being of the president, and ultimately the nation, could be at risk.

And don't forget...

* "Religious-expression privilege" -- The confidentiality of priest-penitent conversations is a well-accepted part of the law. But why should that privilege be limited to those providing conventional religious counseling? If, for argument's sake, during one or more of his meetings with Ms. Lewinsky, the president was heard to declare, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my GOD...!

6/2/98