Clearing the air? Or muddying the water?

Setting the Record (Almost) Straight

By Rick Horowitz

Good evening.

This afternoon in this room, from this chair, I testified before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury. This is the same room from which, a generation ago, the movements of our brave soldiers in World War II were charted by one of America's greatest presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who also had a girlfriend on the side. Not that I'm bitter.

For more than four hours this afternoon, I answered truthfully the questions put to me, including questions about my private life, questions no American citizen who's been fooling around behind his wife's back would ever want to answer.

Now I want to speak directly to you, the American people. And to show you how contrite I am, and how remorseful, I'm speaking slowly, with many dramatic pauses.

A number of the questions this afternoon concerned a deposition I gave in January, when I was first asked about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. I realize now that, while my answers were legally accurate, they could have been misleading to those who speak only English and are not fluent in Clintontalk.

My public comments on this matter might also have left a misleading impression. When I wagged my finger, for instance, and told the American people that "I did not have sexual relations" with Ms. Lewinsky, some people took that to mean that Ms. Lewinsky did not have sexual relations with me either.

For that misunderstanding, I must take complete responsibility, so long as I don't have to take any blame.

Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was not befitting, and not correct, and not rightful, and not suitable, and not anything else my speechwriters can come up with to say what it wasn't without ever quite saying what it was.

For the lack of judgment that led me into this relationship, I take total responsibility, as long as there aren't any consequences.

I told the grand jury today and I say to you now -- indeed, I said it to you when this story first emerged -- that at no time did I ask anyone to lie, to hide or destroy evidence or to take any other unlawful action. Nor did I tell anyone to do any of these things.

Did I "suggest"? Did I "hint"? Did I "hypothesize"? It's impossible for me to say, at least while they're looking at me for obstruction of justice. Let me just tell you that if anyone ever got the wrong impression while talking to me, I'm sorry.

And if anyone ever took any actions that might have impeded a proper investigation of wrongful behavior -- not that anyone's behavior in this case was wrongful, and don't even get me started talking about how improper this investigation is! -- I'm sorry about that, too. In fact, considering everything, you could say I'm one sorry president, and I take sole responsibility for that, along with some other people I won't even dignify by mentioning.

But now it's time to move on. This matter is between me, the two people I love most -- my wife and our daughter -- and our pollster. Even presidents have privates, and what I do with mine is nobody's business but ours.

And so tonight, I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past seven months, to return our attention to the many challenges and opportunities awaiting us, and to remove the stain on the fabric of our national discourse before the FBI lab figures out what it is.

Thank you for being bored silly with all of this, and good night.

Posted 8/18/98. Fresh stuff right here twice weekly!

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