Did he mention that he's sorry?

Once More, With Feeling

By Rick Horowitz

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" -- and I let my family down, and I let this country down. But I'm trying to make it right, and I'm determined never to let anything like that happen again."

"That, of course, was the president down in Florida, Steve, kicking off his `Contrition Over America' tour just a few days ago. A very special moment for everyone in the room, we're told, and we know the president has been sounding similar themes in his various public and private meetings ever since."

"Good point, Scott -- Mr. Clinton's been quite a busy fellow lately. Can you bring us up to date on his apologies so far?"

"Well, Steve -- and these are just some of the ones we know about -- he's already apologized to the Democratic leaders of the House and Senate, to his entire Cabinet, to members of his senior staff, and to those party activists in Florida, of course. And we understand, though we haven't been able to confirm this, that he's also apologized to the man who trims the bushes in the White House Rose Garden, to a dozen people who were delayed by a presidential motorcade last month, to a teenaged boy he met on a campaign swing through Georgia several years ago, and to the entire family of Roger Maris."

"Nice touch."

"Well, his pollsters told him it couldn't hurt."

"Thanks, Scott -- we'll be back to you throughout the day as we track Mr. Clinton's latest moves on `The Road to Remorse.' Now I want to bring in an expert here: Dr. Nora Lenderbee, director of the Institute for Applied Emotions right here in Washington. Quite a scene we've been witnessing these past few days, Dr. Lenderbee. How's the president doing?"

"Pretty well, Steve, considering the enormous pressure he's been under. First of all, it's clear that he's totally revamped his presentation since his disastrous TV speech of August 17th. He had a number of false starts after that, as you know, but I think he's finally come up with a tone of voice that works for him, and that's really essential."

"Kind of a wistful huskiness?"

"More of a husky wistfulness, actually. You always want your wistful notes dominating in this kind of situation, Steve. And his pauses are quite effective, too -- I think they really convey the impression that he's struggling to find just the right words to express his deepest feelings."

"And is he struggling to find just the right words?"

"It doesn't matter, Steve, as long as he's conveying that impression. For all we know, he could be having trouble reading his own handwriting."

"Interesting."

"Now here -- and I've brought along some photographs for comparison -- you'll notice the president's famous lip bite is very subtle on this particular tour, especially compared to what he's done before. As you know, he's been criticized in the past for overdoing the bite -- "

"So he's scaled it back?"

"And very effectively, too, I think -- just the slightest hint of it here, and again over here. He looks like a person fighting very hard to keep his emotions in check. People like that human quality."

"And the crying?"

"Again, very subtle. You have to understand, people don't necessarily want their Commander in Chief bawling like a baby when he's out on the stump, even when he's begging for their forgiveness. But a little glistening at the lower lid, even the occasional tear at the corner of the eye -- very nicely done. I'd give it a 9."

"So you're impressed."

"Well, it's the old saying, Steve: Practice makes perfect. And he's had plenty of practice."

"True enough. Now in the time we have left, if we could, I'd like to move on to more substantive matters. Can you talk for a bit about the president's hand gestures? For instance, when he -- "

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Posted 9/11/98. Fresh stuff right here twice weekly!

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