Recumbent Incumbent: Springing to Victory

By Rick Horowitz

"I wanted to ask some of my friends who had helped me when I got elected president...to come to the White House and spend the night with me." President Clinton, explaining.

TO: THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE

RE: A NEW THRUST IN CAMPAIGN FUNDING

Thanks for your note. I'm glad to hear that the DNC shares my interest in maximizing the value of the White House and its two most exploitable assets, the President and the First Lady. Our very aggressive program of donor perks and privileges should allow us to meet all our near-term fundraising goals, while giving our strongest supporters a sense of "real involvement" in the democratic process.

But why stop there?

The suggestions outlined in my earlier memos -- seats on Air Force One, tickets to the Kennedy Center, White House mess privileges, etc. -- are useful as far as they go, and add important features to our ongoing Donor Access Program.

With POTUS already offering high-quality "face time" at breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and frequent coffee breaks (not to mention our "Hole in One," "Jog-Along" and "Cinemania" efforts), we now have effective contributor lures in place virtually around the clock. Indeed, it can be argued that the only time POTUS isn't raising large sums of money from somebody is when he's in bed.

I propose to correct that oversight.

I. "The Pillow-Talk Club": A Rationale -- The success of our Lincoln Bedroom Sleepover Program (LBSP) makes clear just how seductive current and potential donors find the idea of spending a night at the White House. On the other hand, our fundraising capacity in that venue has been limited by two factors: the size of the room, and the length of the calendar.

Extending the sleepover program to the President's Bedroom would get us past both these hurdles; our overnight capacity for prestige donors would immediately be doubled. Equally important, the chance to spend a night with POTUS and FLOTUS themselves, to actually curl up with the Leader of the Free World and his wife, is a donor incentive whose appeal would leave even the Lincoln Bedroom in the dust.

Translation? We can hit them up for even bigger bucks.

II. "The Pillow-Talk Club": In Practice -- There are several ways we can go with this. As I envision it, major contributors would be offered the opportunity to share the First Bed with both POTUS and FLOTUS, although specific donor preferences in this regard would be accommodated, for an additional fee. (e.g., FLOTUS could sleep on a futon.) They would be encouraged to chat with POTUS and FLOTUS about issues of concern to them, and would be assured a "respectful hearing" on any matters they might raise.

In addition, before going to sleep, POTUS and FLOTUS would endeavor to fulfill any specific requests these contributors might make of them, individually or as a couple -- although, of course, there would be no "guaranteed results."

Should the "Pillow-Talk Club" prove as popular as I expect it to be, we can easily expand it. For instance, the sheer excitement of bedding down with POTUS and FLOTUS might be such that many donors wouldn't require an entire night to come away both energized and satisfied. In that case, we might consider offering them shorter segments -- an hour at a time, for instance -- and increase both the volume of donor contacts and our cash flow.

In making such a change, of course, we would want to ensure that presidential stamina would not be compromised. Still, every indication from POTUS, at least, is that he would embrace such a plan, and with proper preparation and encouragement, I believe FLOTUS can be brought along with equal enthusiasm.

III. Pending Issues -- Anticipating your go-ahead, I am already pulling together the necessary informational materials to launch this crucial program ASAP. In that regard, your feedback would be particularly helpful on the one issue still unresolved: a suggested fee schedule.

As far as I'm concerned, we already know what to call it; the only question is the price.

3/6/97

©1997 Rick Horowitz. All rights reserved.