The Party of Ideas

By Rick Horowitz

PRELUDE (Autumn, 1995)

"So it's agreed, then: If we don't get everything we want, we threaten to shut down the government."

"Sounds good, Newt. But what if Clinton doesn't cave?"

"Then we do shut it down, for as long as it takes. But he'll cave -- he always caves."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then it's all on his head -- the voters'll eat him alive."

"So we win either way?"

"Exactly."

"Wow! Great idea, Newt!"

SELF-DELUDE (Spring, 1997)

"So here's what we do: We take this disaster-relief bill, which Clinton has to sign, and we attach these other things we want. This one prohibits computer sampling to fill in the gaps in the 2000 census -- "

"If those inner-city types don't want to be found, that's their problem, right, Dick?"

"You bet. And this one says no more government shutdowns during budget fights with the White House. We keep the funding levels right where they've been -- or maybe a little bit less."

"Clinton's not gonna like that part of it."

"He'll cave -- he always caves."

"And if he doesn't? We really got burned on that last shutdown thing."

"Not this time. This time it's all on his head -- if he vetoes disaster relief, they'll eat him alive."

"So we win either way?"

"Exactly."

"Wow! Great idea, Dick!"

LUDE-ICROUS (Late Spring, 1997)

"So we're all on board, yes? The best way to get this tax-cut package through is to really go on the offensive. Hit all the talk shows, do lots of interviews, just repeat it and repeat it until the message sinks in."

"Perfect strategy, Trent -- we'll fight this thing on our turf, put Clinton on the defensive right from the get-go. Not like last time."

"The problem last time is we came across too hard-line. And too devious. People don't like their politicians playing politics with disasters -- makes 'em nervous."

"So this time we focus on the merits, right? Just make our case in a calm and rational -- "

"I've got it!"

"What's that, Trent?"

"I can go on one of the talk shows and call Clinton a spoiled brat!"

"A spoiled brat?"

"You know, everything has to be his way all the time or he won't play."

"So you call him names and he'll know we mean business, right?"

"You bet. He can't stand it when you attack him. He'll cave -- he always caves."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then he'll look like he's putting his own ego ahead of what's best for the country. They'll eat him alive."

"So we win either way?"

"Exactly."

"Wow! Great idea, Trent!"

(To be continued?)

 6/17/97